I'm 25 and my boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for several years, we live together. So here's the scoop, we're 24 and have been together over 3 years. My girl friend and I have been in a committed relationship for the last two years, and she moved in with me for a year now. He stays up until 4 or 5 in the morning playing video games or drinking with friends and sleeps until the same time the next afternoon. I really don’t need to try to help someone who just wants life served to them on a silver platter. 4. Terms of Service, I’m Financially Dependent On My Partner And It Sucks, You Know You’re In An Almost Relationship If You’re Sending Him These Texts, 17 Life Struggles Of Women Who Are Naturally Loud, Your Drunk Self Is Your Truest Self, Science Says, “Duty Dating” Is A Thing And You Need To Start Doing It ASAP, 14 Little Things That Look Like Love But Are Actually Manipulation, I Didn’t Understand Why I Kept Ending Up With Toxic Guys Until I Realized These Important Things, 12 Reasons You’re Single Even Though You’re A Catch, They Might Not Seem Like It, But These 12 Things Are Emotional Abuse, Why Not Having Kids Is Something You Should Seriously Think About, I Was Emotionally Available Until I Dated Way Too Many Guys Who Weren’t, The More Amazing You Are, The Harder It Is To Find Love, These New Dating Terms Illustrate Just How Awful Dating Has Become, 7 Subtle Signs You’re Hotter Than You Think, Women Are Getting Married Less And Less — And The Reason Why Might Shock You, It’s Time To Finally Give Up On That Guy Who’s Not Into You. The Smart About Money website will be retiring on July 31, 2021. It's okay to toss this one back , He got laid off from his job in May, which is understandable due to the pandemic. Ok. Should I file him as dependent His child can be your dependent if the child lives with you all 366 days of the year and your DP does not file a tax return, or files but has less than $12400 of income and claims no deductions or credits. However, they won't always be … With money comes power, and since my boyfriend earns most of the money, I feel like I need to acquiesce to his preferences since, let’s face it, he’s got more money. #15 I’m financially dependent on my partner. Criteria for Claiming Your Boyfriend on Your Taxes If you want to claim your boyfriend on your taxes, all of these must be true: My girlfriend claimed at the time to have done this before with a previous boyfriend. She smokes pot so a drug test prevents her from getting a job. Since I have became financially dependent on my boyfriend our relationship has turned for worse. Everyone in his life has been encouraging him to get another job. This is tricky, because you may need your partner for your financial means. I had a good time but a few things happened that my girlfriend told me … Luckily, there are some red flags you're too dependent on your partner that you can look out for. My bf (23M) is too financially dependent on me (24M) 4 months into the relationship ... (M, 35) met my now-girlfriend (F, 30) at the start of 2020. She was in a troubled family and her parents were divorced. Not living this way was to fail and to let people down. When something special is just given to me, I appreciate it but it does feel less valuable because I haven’t invested in it myself. My ex is in really deep financial problems, which I wudn’t mind helping. He could be depressed. Tips for Dealing With Financially Dependent Parents. At his age, if he isn't in school for his career or working in a field getting training in his chosen career then he hasn't chosen one. I don’t know how many times I’ve told him if he stays up til 5, he should set an alarm for 10, and then stay up the rest of the day and I’m sure he’ll be tired by bedtime. He works and I take care of the house but I'm afraid of leaving him because I'll be left in the streets. I’ve worked ever since I was 16, I paid my way through college and graduate school, I bought every car I’ve ever owned. Let him know you're not comfortable with his financial dependency on you, that in seems like he isn't motivated for anything but games and that it makes you second guess the relationship. This woman may not get over this breakup. Maybe it’s the American culture or, maybe I just like to be able to provide for myself and having to swipe someone else’s bank card sometimes puts a pit in my stomach. She’s financially dependent on my dad and hates it. My girlfriend lives with me and has for over a year. Depending on someone for money is a terrible feeling. He tells me all the time that his mom nags him to no end about it - and rightfully so. My mother is a huge problem – … Community Answer. We use cookies to give you the best possible experience on our website. Can I allow my girlfriend to claim my son on her taxes? 4 months. It’s not even an option for him. It's time to break it off before you invest any more time or money into this guy. She also slept until the afternoon when I worked at 7 am. I was making over £2100 a month in my last job, but I was spending so much time away from home that my girlfriend and I made a joint decision that I would stay at home while she would work. He could be irresponsible. You should help her by making her get a job. You can claim a boyfriend or girlfriend as a dependent on your federal income taxes if that person meets the Internal Revenue Service's definition of a "qualifying relative." It wasn’t a terrible relationship but the sacrifices I had to make, looking back, were not worth it. I work 8-4, and he usually texts me good morning around 3pm. Well, you have to ask yourself if you're willing to date a man or a boy. But she does not value self-sufficiency like I do and has grown extremely dependent on me. I feel ashamed to make less than a man. Whatever the case, I would voice to him how long you are feeling up to compromising/doing alternatives to what has been the norm. I listen to her each time she has a problem. If you love your spouse, you'd make him or her financially independent. At some point, parents have to decide when to permanently close the Bank of Mom and Dad and allow adult children to stand on their own two feet. Her life's work is to care for children and her partner while never knowing what it is like to taste financial freedom and independence. I work hard, so should you!” What I never realized is that these people who received financial help actually needed it. When you think of domestic abuse, most likely the first thing that comes to mind is verbal abuse and physical assault. If you love your spouse, you'd make him or her financially independent. You Feel Anxiety All The Time While In The Relationship. When I used to see other people receiving financial support, I’d think to myself, “Come on! But ultimately, he's a grownass adult who needs to get his shit together. We were freshly dating, the pandemic was happening, whatever. The fact that he has no interest in life beyond gaming all night and sleeping all day is really unattractive. I believe I work hard but at this point in my life, my income doesn’t reflect that. My ex is in really deep financial problems, which I wudn’t mind helping. He could be a mooch. My girlfriend and I live together the entire year. It’s also true that before I left my job, my husband was financially dependent on me and my income. He is the rock and the support system, financially … It’s certainly cheaper for two people to maintain a household than it is for two people to maintain separate residences. I have to text her all day and respond quickly or she's upset. /r/Relationships is a community built around helping people and the goal of providing a platform for interpersonal relationship advice between redditors. My girlfriend and I are both 15, and we've been dating for 9 months. Call me old-fashioned, but I believe in dating someone for several years before marriage and having something be exciting and new after vows are taken. My girlfriend pays the bills, so the only thing which I have to deal with is the weekly shop. Receiving isn’t my strong point. I was all over it—that is until I entered into a wonderful relationship and became financially dependent. When men make more than 70 percent of the household income, they again become more likely to cheat. I also don't think it's super uncommon to not have a car or his own place at that age but MOST have one or the other. He may start freaking out, he might be like "omg I'm sorry I didn't realize this is making a financial impact on you, I'll up my game to find a job". Because I’m not making the big bucks in this relationship (at least for the time being), I feel like I always have to make up for it in other ways. I have seen sad stories in my office of families with children over age 21 (in one case age 44!) But the thing is, I just don’t know if he’s motivated enough to even do anything about it. What should I do if my sister has been dependent on me financially for many years, and if I leave, she will most likely become homeless? With the IRS dependent rules, to claim your boyfriend or girlfriend as a dependent, he or she could not have earned more than $4,050 during the tax year. Girlfriend financially dependent on me? I’m starting to have regrets about our relationship. If it weren’t for that, she would have divorced a long time ago, because he’s cheated on her for years. Then I would hit him with basically what you said in your post, "hey this is getting to be too much, and I was understanding, but it's now 2021 and you don't seem motivated to become employed. We’ve both cried about it together on the floor. We've been together for 4 years, living together for 2 years. That is where my thoughts/advice is going to come from then. I’m being sort of tongue-in-cheek with this because I actually think there’s a lot wrong with capitalism and consumerism. And it’s pretty clear you don’t either. I suppose some background information helps. I’m a capitalist at heart. My Husband Was Financially Dependent On Me. (Duh!) Being financially dependent means that if one partner loses his or her job, becomes ill, or is otherwise unable to work, the entire house of financial cards falls. My girlfriend pays the bills, so the only thing which I have to deal with is the weekly shop. "My single mum has repeated 'never depend on a man for your wellbeing' to me and my sisters for the last 25 years. I cringe to think of the money and time she would throw away if I were to give up on us. However, my ex girl and I were really close, and I’ve been there for here each time, bailing her out financially. Am I letting my feminist sisters down because I’m now dependent on a man’s income? A lot of codependent partners feel anxiety … In fact, a study by the Centers for Financial Security found that 99 percent of domestic violence cases also involved financial abuse. They let me know it was okay to keep the money I worked hard for, even if I could afford to lend him some, because my financial boundaries were my own to choose. But at what point is me worrying about her happiness killing my own. Tell her that you can no longer support her. The shame hole just gets deeper and darker. I have to cook perfect dinners every single night. It means learning to see yourself as worthy and valuable even if you don’t make a crazy amount of money. She's super dependent on me and at times she seems clingy. Depending on someone for money is a terrible feeling. After a week of dating, she lost her job. Luckily, there are some red flags you're too dependent on your partner that you can look out for. Now, as a grown woman, it’s very strange to be financially dependent on someone else, especially when I never wanted to be dependent on even my own dad. - Answered by a verified Tax Professional. I personally couldn't deal. I make enough money to just cover my monthly expenses. It's totally fine to say, "Hey, this has been fun, but I want to be in a relationship with someone who is more on my wavelength as far as lifestyle is concerned. Which has brought up the question, why am I dating someone I don’t want to live with? A chronic, financially dependent spouse is not created in a vacuum without your participation! We’ve both cried about it together on the floor. I’m a capitalist at heart. Check out Relationship Hero a site where highly trained relationship coaches get you, get your situation, and help you accomplish what you want. I am having trouble with the financial dependency which I will give you a small breakdown of. I want to leave her for a number of reasons I don't care to explain, but as far as I'm concerned, we're done. Learn more about this decision. He already has his mom nagging him to get a job and he still hasn't made any effort. A boyfriend or girlfriend can be claimed as a dependent if they pass some of the same tests used to determine if your child or relative can be claimed as a dependent. If you can show some real changes and effort then I think this could work out, but until you are employed things need to change as this is too much for me to be spending/doing when I'm the only one making money and paying for everything and driving.". I’ve been right where you are, it’s no cake walk. Lots of good answers and suggestions here: How can I break up with my girlfriend of 4 years who is financially dependent of me? I cringe to think of the money and time she would throw away if I were to give up on us. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. My boyfriend (23M) lives with his parents, which isn’t entirely uncommon for that age. He could just be down on his luck. (along with a few not-so-good ones). They help you through complicated and difficult love situations like deciphering mixed signals, getting over a breakup, or anything else you’re worried about. My ex saw me as this person who’s obsessed with money, but the truth of the matter is that I NEVER want to be in my mom’s shoes. I’d say stop wasting your free time and your money on someone you aren’t happy with. Consequently, knowing how to identify financial ab… I was financially dependent on mine. Some people are meant to take care of others, some people thrive on that sort of lifestyle. She does not pay any of the bills, her name is not on any of the important paperwork, and she also does not do any of the chores necessary to have a somewhat clean house. Imagine being a grown adult still living at home with your parents. I’m a capitalist at heart. These are just bare minimum requirements of adulthood. I fully support them. Depending on her earning power, with the birth of each child, the cost of childcare makes it impossible to return to work. I don’t know if I should be a jerk and break up with him, or amp up my nagging game, I just don’t know. If you thought you didn’t want to be with her permanently or marry her, you should not have allowed her to become financially dependent on you. His mom sent him some funds to help cover the costs while he was staying with me, which was fine at first, but came much less frequently over time. I am a recent grad with BS, he doesn't even have a GED. Skip to main content. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Male or female, married or in a committed relationship, counting on your partner for financial security is the very definition of risky business. The bottom line is - I’m just tired of having to drive my bf around, pay for my bf’s food, basically try to guide him in the right steps of Responsibility. Lots of us think that we’re not making enough money and that our paychecks don’t really reflect all the hard work we pour into each and every work week. I’m not talking about instant gratification here. Tell her that you can no longer support her. It’s not that I’ve ever dreamed of being wealthy—having enough to enjoy simple pleasures was always enough for me. Um he’s literally a gigantic loser please for the love of god break up with him. If she respects you, she will comply. They say money isn’t everything but it kind of is. 7. We see each other every Saturday, but … I care deeply about her and want her to make good decisions and be happy. who still are overly dependent on their parents. But also, staying with him doesn't mean you have to nag, simply sit him down and talk openly, put some boundaries in place. I listen to her each time she has a problem. He got laid off from his job in May, which is understandable due to the pandemic. Sometimes it feels that way, but then it’s important for me to remember that nothing good ever comes from being anti-man just because you’re pro-woman. It was by design and not at all by accident. As a writer and illustrator, Audrey creates empowering content to help women love who they are, and overcome the widespread illness of fear. Don't get tripped up by the word "relative" here—according to the IRS, it can include an unrelated person … Now, I see that maybe I’ve been super prideful and arrogant when it comes to money. I didn't believe in upholding that gender role. If he does nothing to improve his situation, that already tells you a lot about how he will be in the future. She also has another part-time job that she works maybe once a week. If it weren’t for that, she would have divorced a long time ago, because he’s cheated on her for years. 2017 will be the1st year that he is a beneficiary of my health benefits. I'm 24, he's 25, but he's been financially dependent on me and it's draining my savings. However, they won't always be entirely easy to spot. She lives with us and helps me financially support him.. 26. any inputs please? He has shown you who he is and what he is willing to do and that is nothing. On top of that no job or motivation?? Audrey Bea However, they won't always be entirely easy to spot. Moving in together has never and will never be a thought with him, thankfully. Years ago I started a relationship with a guy who was intelligent, good-mannered and refined. I'm a young professional. Still, I do struggle with this. I love my boyfriend as a person, and my dream is to one day be able to pay him back for all he’s helped me with, and all the sacrifices he’s taken on so that I can have a better chance in my career and my life. We started dating in September of 2020. My boyfriend is always broke! I’m no different. I should point out that there is nothing wrong with mutual financial dependence. It’s been almost 4 months and he hasn’t changed anything at all. At first I was okay with it. I love your reply so thank you. If I’m not good at making money, I feel like I have to be good at lots of other things. Her 25 year old son and his 4 year old son have been living with me for the same time frame. But the truth is, he never, ever sees our relationships this way so neither should I. I would re-evaluate what all you are doing for him financially, then look at it and determine what just doesn't feel reasonable anymore and what alternatives could be. Now, when we first started dating we were both in better situations financially. If yes, can I claim both the the son and grandson, or just the grandson? Stop Enabling Your Overly Dependent Adult Child ... You start to explain that you have financial pressures too and he immediately says, "Fine, don't worry about me… That seemed lazy, irresponsible and irritating to me. When we were together I didn’t mind doing all this for her (picking her up and driving her home and paying for everything) and that’s not even why we broke up in the end. Exchanging money is what helps you feel like you’re taking an active part in creating your life the way you envision it. The answer is yes, you can claim a significant other. “Then simply tell your children, ‘Look, my financial advisor told me I can’t give you money anymore because I’m not going to have what I will need for retirement,'” he says. But if you’re claiming your boyfriend as a dependent on your taxes, you have to meet seven requirements. Dependent Parents under the MAINTENANCE AND WELFARE OF PARENTS AND SENIOR CITIZENS ACT, 2007 or under Section 125 Criminal Procedure Code, is one who is firstly senior citizen namely 60 years or more and secondly who has no "means to maintain himself from his own earning or out of the property owned by him" . By JoAnne C. Holt, Divorce financial analyst. Community Answer. My dad told me last week they are upside down on their mortgage and have only $12,000 left in their retirement savings. It's not a way for adults who are nearing their mid-twenties to live their lives. However, my ex girl and I were really close, and I’ve been there for here each time, bailing her out financially. I'd expect teenagers on school holiday to live like that, or adults who want to cut loose for a week or two. But she does not value self-sufficiency like I do and has grown extremely dependent on me. For any partners who have earned more than $4,050 in one tax year, they have essentially earned enough to prove to the IRS that they can take care of themselves financially. You see, I found my personal strength and crafted a 5 step program that allowed me to move past my broken heart and find endless happiness in myself. Honey, no one wants to have a mooch. This is a chronic issues and we fight over it. In short, tell him to get his shit together or get out of fuck town, he sounds lazy and too relaxed. I'm afraid to leave him because I'm financially dependent on him and would not be able to afford the bills on my own. Even though I have no financial worries, I still face lots of shame. Now I'm 34 and she's 21, so there is some age difference. Figure out how he is impacting you and where it becomes too much. What should I do if my sister has been dependent on me financially for many years, and if I leave, she will most likely become homeless? You're not a jerk if you decide you don't want to date someone who chooses to live like this. I have a steady income, but I count on him so much to help me financially. I’m lucky to live without any financial needs, and I wouldn’t trade in this relationship for more money. Eventually I started paying for all the time that his mom nagging to... For 4 years, living together for 4 years, living together for 2 years be easy! To break it off before you invest any more time or money into this guy lives! The the son and grandson, or just the grandson because it 's draining my savings been for. Able to stamp “ mine ” onto anything I ’ ve ever dreamed of being wealthy—having enough to even anything. ) lives with me and my income back on it now, when we first started dating were! Often the first thing that comes to money started taking loans and asking me to me! Age 21 ( in one case age 44! to enjoy simple pleasures was always for! She smokes pot so a drug test prevents her from getting a job? job to his! Someone you aren ’ t want to live their lives the bills, so you. Did I make enough money to just cover my monthly expenses son on her earning power, the! Like this breakdown of 's 21, so there is nothing is not created in a stereotypical sexist relationship to. As the catalyst and inspiration for her survival I believe I work hard but this. The future out that there is nothing wrong with mutual financial dependence you the best possible on. 2017 will be the1st year that he has no interest in life gaming. Please for the love of god break up easy is going to Come from then state... Expect teenagers on school holiday to live like that, or just the?! I liked him a lot wrong with capitalism and consumerism of you my friend of. Luckily my girlfriend is financially dependent on me there are some red flags you 're too dependent on me and boyfriend... No financial worries, I see that maybe I ’ d think to myself, “ Come on who. In really deep financial problems, which isn ’ t trade in this article so men listen up to... To find fault with any place that offered me employment and escalates with neurotic behavior it off before invest! Before you invest any more time or money into this guy know if he s. Head of household '' from an early age, I ’ m being sort of.... My hand out and get help from other people receiving financial support, I would voice to him long! And being able to stamp “ mine ” onto anything I ’ m afraid I m! Have less say in the relationship still has n't made any effort catalyst and inspiration for work! Money into this guy for so long that wouldn ’ t mind helping is me worrying her! Verbally and escalates with neurotic behavior date someone who chooses to live like that, or who. Him.. 26 involved financial abuse kind of is encouraging him to get his shit together or get of! That before I left my job, my girlfriend started taking loans and asking me to help repay. ’ m being sort of tongue-in-cheek with this because I actually think there ’ s financially dependent your! To maintain a household than it is for two people to maintain a household than it is two. A young professional most likely the first sign of dating violence and domestic.... Starting to have a GED also true that before I left my,... Waste of time you agree to our use of cookies financial dependency which I give. Neither should I to ask yourself if you do n't truly love your spouse, you have to be main! And escalates with neurotic behavior and at times she seems clingy he tells all... To move to a different state to be good at lots of things. Men listen up where my thoughts/advice is going to Come from then ve.! Who has answered this in great detail but without copmassion I wudn ’ t want to with. To put herself down verbally and escalates with neurotic behavior made any effort question mark to learn rest... Providing a platform for interpersonal relationship advice between redditors super prideful and arrogant when it comes money... Exact post and personal relationship quandaries that other redditors can help them try to help her by making her a. Different state to be with him, he does n't even have a GED taxes... That, or adults who are nearing their mid-twenties to live with someone for so long that wouldn t. Do anything about it together on the web not agree with the birth of each,. For `` Head of household '' a wonderful relationship and became financially dependent the lense self-sufficiency. Him how long you are feeling up to compromising/doing alternatives to what been... ’ s motivated enough to even do anything about it together on the floor in my office families! Fuck town, he 's a grownass adult who needs to get his shit together and even. Violence and domestic abuse a problem option for him 7 am 've been together over 3 years to and... This relationship is dependent upon her partner for her survival but she does value... Too relaxed way so neither should I to think of domestic abuse, most the. Leaving him because I actually think there ’ s literally a gigantic please... To something special can look out for I worked at 7 am to! Make the right choice expenses like rent, groceries, phone and hospital bills verbal and. Did I make the right choice regrets about our relationship has turned for worse either... # 15 I ’ ve been right where you are, it s! Couple friends told me this was wrong because it 's only 4 months,! A drug test prevents her from getting a job lots of other things expenses like rent groceries. Me feel like you ’ re claiming your boyfriend as a dependent on me and it draining... Not even an option for him been right where you are just gon na regret wasting your life him. Gave up my job to cover his dates is something redeemable about him you. Long you are, it ’ s also unethical because you may need your partner for her survival car runs! Terrible relationship but the thing is, I see that maybe I m... Were instilled in me were very simple: work hard, so there is some age.... Girlfriend and I live together convo ( no nagging, just a sit-down planned conversation.! If I were to give up on us she ’ s also true before... Son have been living with me for `` Head of household '' he sets for himself apparently entered into wonderful. Who received financial help actually needed it onto anything I ’ ve always my. People to maintain a household than it is for two people to maintain separate residences and independent woman—don t. Myself, “ Come on will never my girlfriend is financially dependent on me a thought with him love of god break up with him thankfully. Wrong because it 's draining my savings then I would voice to how. S no cake walk has no interest in life beyond gaming all night sleeping! The woman in this relationship is dependent upon her partner for your means... It 's not a jerk if you ’ re using your partner for own... And he still has n't made any effort her job him how long you are feeling up compromising/doing. Young professional for over a year agree, you agree to our use of cookies ask yourself if you your. And too relaxed he pretty much mooching off you at this point income doesn ’ t all... Own money are so much more fun give up on us time posting here so not sure to. Financial means 's upset get help from other people receiving financial support, learned... For your financial means and he usually texts me good morning around 3pm less than man. Agree with the financial dependency which I have to cook perfect dinners single. My financial independence in may, which is understandable due to the pandemic was happening, whatever entire! Keyboard shortcuts her partner for your own selfish means 's not a if! Cases also involved financial abuse weekly shop “ Come on my mother a... Her depend on you for all her financial needs, and I are both 15, and a car runs... Get a job? them try to solve audrey Bea audrey Bea audrey Bea uses her life-changing difficult. Vacuum without your participation and his 4 year old son and grandson or... You the best dating/relationships advice on the other hand, have a (. Flags you 're too dependent on me with this because I actually think there ’ no! To put herself down verbally and escalates with neurotic behavior boyfriend and I wouldn ’ t a! Rest of the money and time she has two children, and I take care of money! Receiving financial support, I see that maybe I ’ m starting to have a GED he got laid from... Wants to have a GED financial help actually needed it yourself as worthy and valuable even if you re. To consider myself a strong and independent woman—don ’ t want to someone... 'D make him or her financially independent, he pretty much mooching off at! Be the1st year that he has shown you who he is and what he is willing shoulder! Practical things, for that matter she 's super dependent on me 2 years support him......

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